You got a virus
I laugh - it's what you deserve
Read your damn email
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Teeth-Grinding Irritation Haiku
Fingernails scraping
'Cross the chalkboard of my soul
Some co-workers suck
'Cross the chalkboard of my soul
Some co-workers suck
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Men CAN Multi-task
A frequent complaint I hear from women (among other frequent complaints women may make) is that men cannot multi-task. I believe this is not true, and here's why.
It all boils down to the way men and women think about sex. To put this in a purely nerdy perspective, let's think of this in terms of a personal computer.
When women think about sex, it is much like using an application such as Microsoft Word. They call upon it when they want or need to use it, do what they have to do, then close the application and move on.
When men think about sex, it is a process that runs in the background from the moment you boot up to the moment you shut down. For many men it may even be the entire operating system that holds everything together. This means at any given moment, though a man may appear to be doing only one thing, they are in reality, multi-tasking. They are:
1) thinking about sex
2) doing whatever else is most pressing at the moment
Quite frankly, we are lucky they are able to remain upright at all, much less multi-task to the extent that they do. The constant strain on their resources may also partly explain why they seem incapable of hitting a hole as large as the standard toilet hole when they pee.
So remember this the next time you're about to be unfairly hard on your man - and be grateful that men, unlike dogs, cannot lick their own balls.
Cheers,
D
It all boils down to the way men and women think about sex. To put this in a purely nerdy perspective, let's think of this in terms of a personal computer.
When women think about sex, it is much like using an application such as Microsoft Word. They call upon it when they want or need to use it, do what they have to do, then close the application and move on.
When men think about sex, it is a process that runs in the background from the moment you boot up to the moment you shut down. For many men it may even be the entire operating system that holds everything together. This means at any given moment, though a man may appear to be doing only one thing, they are in reality, multi-tasking. They are:
1) thinking about sex
2) doing whatever else is most pressing at the moment
Quite frankly, we are lucky they are able to remain upright at all, much less multi-task to the extent that they do. The constant strain on their resources may also partly explain why they seem incapable of hitting a hole as large as the standard toilet hole when they pee.
So remember this the next time you're about to be unfairly hard on your man - and be grateful that men, unlike dogs, cannot lick their own balls.
Cheers,
D
Thursday, June 17, 2004
An Ode to Filkins
Here is a limerick dedicated to the sometimes-object of my affection.
Though Filkins looks much like an elf,
I wanted his hands on my shelf.
But committed is he
So forever I'll be
Forced to love me by myself.
Disclaimer/Background: When I first met this guy, I honestly thought he was gay. (What else am I supposed to think about an elfin man who reads the commie pinko rag The Nation???) I asked to have his love child, and then found out he was straight as the line that George W. Bush's finger makes as it follows along with each word in his favorite tome, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Since then, I have kept up the charade just to freak out my friend LK (who thinks of him as a brother) with visuals that make her wake in the night screaming. And because Filkins likes the attention from a foxy asian girl such as myself.
Cheers,
D
Though Filkins looks much like an elf,
I wanted his hands on my shelf.
But committed is he
So forever I'll be
Forced to love me by myself.
Disclaimer/Background: When I first met this guy, I honestly thought he was gay. (What else am I supposed to think about an elfin man who reads the commie pinko rag The Nation???) I asked to have his love child, and then found out he was straight as the line that George W. Bush's finger makes as it follows along with each word in his favorite tome, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Since then, I have kept up the charade just to freak out my friend LK (who thinks of him as a brother) with visuals that make her wake in the night screaming. And because Filkins likes the attention from a foxy asian girl such as myself.
Cheers,
D
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