Random Observations and Occurrences

First off, many thanks to Carl the Fantabulous for his engaging wit de razeur (French term that I just now completely made up) response to my last blog entry.

p.s. Carl - depending on the rooster in question, the Cock is EVERYTHING to giggle about.

Ok. Let's get started.

Now, far be it from me to be a nosybiddy neighbor - heck I don't even know any of their names. But in the recent spouts of snow that got spooged onto the Chicago area, I notice that the people across the street from me seem to be, well, lazy. And that's saying a LOT from a chick who won't take down her Christmas tree.

Some background - I live on a street of duplexes, which means that I am connected to one other house, we share a double-width driveway, and when it comes to snow, I clean my half, they clean their half. The people across the street from me - one half is clean, and the other half has that massive snow drift left at the curb by the street plow. FROM LAST WEEK. I have seen their truck in the driveway since last week (somehow squished between the garage and the massive snow drift) so it's not like they blew town.

Today, I was on my way out - saw the guy with his truck parked in his neighbor's half of the driveway, shoveling snow since we got some more last night. I come back home - the drift is STILL there but now he's somehow again parked his truck between the garage and the drift. Hey if it works for him it's fine with me. But something tells me not to count on them in any neighborhood cooperative efforts (not like we have any, but still)
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In the answer to my daily prayers since Week 5 of the NFL season, the Bears have fired their offensive coordinator, Terry Shea. I hear people saying how the Bears quarterbacks suck, which is true, but they were on their sixth sucky offensive lineup at the end of the season. If the wind is blowing above 2 mph, the offensive linemen will fall down. Peyton Manning, good as he is, would have gotten KILLED DEAD with this offensive line, because it's basically like asking paper dolls to protect you.

Now don't get me wrong, the quarterbacks have sucked. When Craig Krenzel is six inches from FALLING out of bounds, but takes a moment to ponder, "What should I do before falling out of bounds? OH. I know. I'll throw the ball to the other team first." Sucky quarterback.

I have seen 5 plays from the Bears offense all season. I will be extremely generous and include
1) the successful pass and
2) the successful rush (each of which I have seen all of 4 times this season)
3) Ball snapped, offensive line falls down, quarterback is mowed down flat. (feel free to insert fumble here if in the mood)
4) Ball snapped, quarterback runs far enough away from the offensive line to give himself time to throw an interception
5) Ball snapped, offensive line thinks enough happy thoughts to stay upright long enough for quarterback to throw the ball, only to find David Terrell has run the play in the wrong direction. Being the sucky quarterback that he is, he cannot adjust and throws the ball at empty field.

I'm going to wait to pass judgment on Ron Turner who's taking over, but if his last three seasons coaching Illinois is any indication, I'm not too hopeful. Maybe there's nowhere to go but up. Or maybe we can lose all our games next season.
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I was flipping channels the other night and came upon the People's Choice Awards. I actually groaned when Fahrenheit 9/11 won for Best Picture of the Year. Sure, I liked the movie and thought it had an important message - which is completely marginalized by Michael Moore's grandstanding and competition against 2 CARTOONS and Doc Ock. As my good friend LK says, blurring (or in this case detonating) the line between documentary and entertainment serves no justice to the message of this film and is indeed insulting to our troops in Iraq. Sit down before you hurt yourself and all the rest of us, Mr. Moore.
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Why is Laura Bush's choice of gown for the Inaugural Ball a top headline alongside, well, anything serious? And why are the ass-clowns in the Bush administration making the city of Washington D.C. divert $12 million in homeland security funds to pay for the costs of the inauguration? Oh I know why. Because 59 million of us re-elected a complete douchebag.
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Excuse me, I meant 59 million of us ELECTED a complete douchebag, since the first election didn't count - literally.
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I still haven't bought Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and I'm wondering why. Maybe I will make it my Martin Luther King day present to myself.
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Don't cats ever get tired of licking themselves?
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As I typed that, my older cat Guinness looked up at me with complete scorn writ large upon his face, and then went back to licking. Meowlingual translation - "Don't be gettin up in my shit, beeyotch."
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And, that's all I got for today. Apologies to all my fans (and that would be ALL my fans) who don't watch football and completely tuned out in the middle)

Mooches smooches,
D