I haven't blogged lately, and that means I haven't blogged about the Bears lately. And that's because the Bears are depressing. Today I decided to tune in to the game vs. the Broncos, during which I discovered that the Broncos kicker fails at basic survival skills.
For those who are not NFL-aware, Devin Hester is the most devastating punt returner in the game today. If you give him a centimeter, he will take a touchdown. Generally, every team in the NFL knows this fact and have added this basic rule to their survival manuals.
Do not kick high and up the middle to Devin Hester.
This is akin to laymen saying:
Do not set yourself on fire. You can if you really want to, but you're probably going to regret it. A lot.
Todd Sauerbrun of the Broncos missed the memo and punted a beauty to Hester which was promptly returned a cool 70-some yards for a touchdown. He fell over in the backdraft created by Hester zooming to the endzone.
Ok fine, sometimes people have to learn things the hard way. Except Sauerbrun apparently needed this additional rule in his manual:
Do not kick high and up the middle to Devin Hester again if you already did it once.
Which is akin to laymen saying:
After setting yourself on fire, putting yourself out, and dressing your burns, do not set yourself on fire again. Seriously. You can probably still feel the pain of your blistering flesh even as you read this. Don't light that match. Seriously.
Because he kicked another humdinger to Hester which got returned a cool 80-some yards for another touchdown. Possibly I got the 70-some and the 80-some switched. The end result is the same. 6 points for the Bears and Sauerbrun flat on his back watching Hester set his ass on fire. Again.
As a human with basic cognitive skills I find it a little disturbing when a fellow human turns on the extra-strength stupid like that. But as a Bears fan I am extremely grateful for this turn of events. And Gods bless Robbie Gould for the game-winner.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
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