Random Good Things and More Fun in Dating Internetz

Good Thing #1 (no, not trying to be Martha Stewart with Good Things)

Getting veil poi lesson from Donna Diva!  I got a mini-workshop this past Saturday on poi and veil poi.  Yes, I hit myself a lot but I made a lot of progress too!  Check out this pic I got of one of the other girls working the veil poi.



Cool, right? Super-helpful to have a live person show you what you are and aren't doing right. I can't do it too often because my right arm was already hurting from lifting something weird but as soon as that's healed I am back on this!

Good Thing #2


Streaming Netflix to Wii.  Now, since my wireless router was from around when the earth's crust cooled, my Wii refused to connect to my wireless.  (Inter-technology snobbery!!!)  So since I already had a new laptop on the way, I decided to get a new router too.

Mollified, my Wii latched on to the new wireless setup and I was able to stream Netflix.

In a nutshell, this shit is dangerous.  DANGEROUS.  I was up ridonkolate for two nights watching Season 1 of Dexter.  OMFG that show is jacked up.  But uber easy to just sit there and get sucked in when I just have to lift one feeble hand with a Wiimote and click "Play next episode".  Again, DANGEROUS.  But awesome at the same time.

Good Thing #3


NEW LAPTOP.  Finally caved into getting a new machine, as my current laptop has a broken hinge and therefore a tendency to yaw open and fall completely flat if I'm not careful, plus I can have a full and balanced meal in the time it takes to boot up.

DON'T MIND ME, I'M JUST FUCKENORMOUS


I've never had a 17 in laptop before and while I find it a little unwieldy (especially with the sore arm) I am sure I will get used to it quickly.

And now we move on to the Strange World of Dating Internetz.

• Really, if you want someone to keep on a leash, go get a dog.  I have no idea what about my profile made this guy think I would go for his psycho conditions, but really, it is not reasonable for you to expect that
• I cannot go to a bar unless shackled securely to you and your evident trust issues.
• I need to get rid of all my guy friends for you.  No, gay guy friends aren't acceptable either.  That was explicitly stated in this winner of a profile.
• You live 40 miles away from me?  Well, ok, not insurmountable.  What's that?  You don't have a car?  Why did you write to me?  Are you going to run a marathon to meet me halfway?  (It's not like he just happened to miss my location, he asked where my town was in his first message because even though it's 40 miles away, he's never heard of it.  He's also apparently never heard of Google Maps.)
• I don't care how good you think you are in bed (IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE HE WROTE HOW AWESOME HE IS ALL IN CAPS), I have no interest in hooking up with a married man.  I say it right there in my profile.  I even put asterisks around it.  Maybe I needed to put it in all caps and several languages.
• Unless you are a male bellydancer, telling me that you regularly watch Shimmy on FitTV is only going to creep my shit out something fierce.

 The hits just keep coming.

Well I have to scoot and practice for the Tim Burton hafla - right now I feel VERY NOT GOOD about this solo but sadly, VERY NOT GOOD is a few steps up from where I was feeling about it last week.

Toodles, noodles
D

Signs I Need to Get Out More

This morning I had a dream that my neighbor's cat (I don't know my neighbors but as far as I know they both have dogs) got into my house.  Then it had a kitten in my house.  Then Molly and the neighbor cat and kitten were all loving up on each other.  Guinness stood off to the side all WTFISTHISHEINOUSFUCKERY and there was all, huge cat drama.  Cat drama.  I am dreaming about cat drama.

For whatever reason, probably because I have the day off tomorrow AND I CAN, I am watching one of the Encore channels that is showing a Wes Craven dud called Shocker.  Something about a convicted murderer who survived the electric chair?  That's what Comcast is telling me anyway.  My tv screen is telling me that a lazyboy recliner came to life, grew eyes (I shit you not, EYES.  In the seams at the top of the chair) and turned into the murderer, but a grainy tv 2d hologram version of the murderer and beat the guy sitting in the chair.

And now the murderer dived into the tv and somehow yanked the guy with him.

And now they are running through random tv shows like Leave it to Beaver.

OMFG AND NOW THEY LANDED ON JOHN TESH.  YES, ERSTWHILE ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT HOST TURNED NEW AGE-Y MUSICIAN WITH AN EVEN LARGER MORE RECTANGULAR HEAD THAN PEYTON MANNING JOHN TESH.

WTF why did Comcast list this as one star???  This is the best thing ever.

Another Food Post and Random Bits

So I've been trying to take better care of myself and eat better, so my cooking efforts have increased as of late. This weekend's efforts include

Chickpea Cutlets (from Veganomicon cookbook)

Wait, what?  Chickpea cutlets?  No, it's true.  I know I am going to be the eleventy bozillionth person to blog about these but eh, it's my blog, so suck it.  My desire to test-drive these after hearing of them is largely due to

1. The fact that I oddly love fake meat items.  I have been known to skip the meats entirely at Flat Top Grill and just load up on all the fake meats like tempeh and Veat.  
2. The fact that I hardly ever cook meat at home because I hate doing it.  I don't know if it's the effort or the salmonella risk or what, but I hate cooking meat at home.  F-

So I trucked out and picked up some vital wheat gluten (I love chickpeas so always always have a few cans in the pantry) and got to work.  It was a bit of assembling but still fairly easy.  And OMGDELICIOUS.  I can see where some people might not love them but I thought they were awesome.  I plan to try again with other beans (black bean burgers of my very ownsome, huzzah!) and stock up on vital wheat gluten from Amazon Grocery.

Here's one of my unattractive but delicious chickpea cutlets.  I chose to bake instead of fry.


Have I mentioned I'm a lazy cook?  I'm a lazy cook.  So when I figured out I could make quinoa in the rice cooker YEA VERILY CELEBRATIONS WERE HEARD THROUGHOUT THE LAND.  Today I made a bunch of quinoa - 2 cups quinoa, 2 cups chicken broth, 2 cups water.  You can use whatever broth/seasoning you like - mushroom broth is particularly awesome with quinoa.

Then I dumped some frozen corn, a can of black beans, a can of Rotel, some garlic powder, minced onion, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper together in a bowl and mixed it with the cooked quinoa.  And got this mountain of awesome:



I am stuffed full of a helping (and then some) right now.  OM NOM NOM NOM!!!

I wasn't as productive with spring cleaning as I wanted to be but I did get some big things done, so I am going to bake off some Ghirardelli brownie mix later, using applesauce and flaxseed instead of oil and eggs.  I've done the applesauce trick before and find that the brownies taste just fine.  I heard about the flaxseed trick (1 tbsp ground flaxseed + 3 tbsp water  = 1 egg) just this week so I am curious to try it out.

I am way the fuck behind on choreographies for upcoming performances, BUT one of the things I did accomplish this weekend was to clean out my office/third bedroom enough to line up the cheeeeep mirrors I got from IKEA along the wall to use for dance practice.  I would post a pic except the mirrors also reflect how the rest of the office is still pretty cluttered.  So I expect to catch up this week.

I started watching the 1st season of Breaking Bad from netflix.  OMFG.  That shit is messed up.

Silence of the Lambs is on tv now.  This movie is 19 years old.  WTF when did that happen.

And guess what has two thumbs and got to see Christopher Moore, fuckawesome author?  THIS GIRL.

I am really pissed I didn't have the forethought and guts to ask him to address my book to "Fucksocks"

Amy took this of me in the bookstore, nonchalantly ignoring the dragon that wants to eat my head.


That's it for me today.  Later, taters!