Last night I spoke to an old friend from high school and we hadn't talked in quite a while. (Oddly enough she may be reading this soon as I found out she keeps up with my life through my blog! I'm not naming her just in case someone reads this who knows her and she hasn't told them about this yet and might want to do so herself.) Anyway, a couple of years ago, her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. They caught it very early and it seemed like they had gotten rid of it all and that she was just fine.
Well, they recently found out that it has spread to her liver, and it's incurable when this happens. Both my friend and her mom have AMAZINGLY positive attitudes about this. I don't know what I myself would do in this situation but I really have to wonder if I could find the strength that they have now. I don't want to get all Frank Capra here, but this woman really has had a wonderful life in my opinion, she's smart, she's funny, and she has a wonderful family - she and her husband have raised two smart, humorous, decent, responsible people. I'm really sad about this, but if she can have a positive attitude, then I can do the same for her sake. But please, if you have some positive vibes to send her way, I'm sure she would welcome the boost.
Thanks,
D
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Adjusting
I was having dinner with some friends last night, among them one man, and the subject of adjusting came up. Specifically, male adjusting. More specifically, the act of men adjusting the twig and berries which women have always found inexplicable at best, ooky and "stupidboys" at worst.
All the women present were anxious to understand why the male is always adjusting. I had personally always thought that it was a form of checking to make sure Junior and the Wangettes are still there, and that the male is really not even aware that he's doing it, or if he is, he considers himself to be conducting the act in a really sneaky and surreptitious manner. 007 grabbing, if you will.
But it occurred to me that perhaps this is making it too simplistic. Maybe there is a "home position", a position that if Junior were to veer too far from, chemical and spiritual imbalances would take place in the man. Electrolytes out of whack, cardiac arrhythmia. Or at the very least, discomfort. This actually turned out to be the case (or the most acceptable explanation) for the poor man present for the discussion.
Why then, do men continue to do it while sitting? We understand adjusting before sitting down, and after standing up. Things are bound to move. But is there shifting while men are in a seated position? I think there must be, especially if they cross their legs. But if they are sitting still, why the adjusting then?
Then of course, there's the more obvious reasoning, that men adjust to let women (or men if they are gay) know that look, there is a wang here, and yes, the buffet is open for business. I further postulate that if a man is, how do we say, genitally challenged, he would also want to conduct status checks to make sure his works haven't disappeared completely.
So men, if you are reading, please post a comment and let us know which of the following explanations suits your acts of adjustment (you may of course pick more than one, but if you do, please note which reason is the most frequent/important)
All the women present were anxious to understand why the male is always adjusting. I had personally always thought that it was a form of checking to make sure Junior and the Wangettes are still there, and that the male is really not even aware that he's doing it, or if he is, he considers himself to be conducting the act in a really sneaky and surreptitious manner. 007 grabbing, if you will.
But it occurred to me that perhaps this is making it too simplistic. Maybe there is a "home position", a position that if Junior were to veer too far from, chemical and spiritual imbalances would take place in the man. Electrolytes out of whack, cardiac arrhythmia. Or at the very least, discomfort. This actually turned out to be the case (or the most acceptable explanation) for the poor man present for the discussion.
Why then, do men continue to do it while sitting? We understand adjusting before sitting down, and after standing up. Things are bound to move. But is there shifting while men are in a seated position? I think there must be, especially if they cross their legs. But if they are sitting still, why the adjusting then?
Then of course, there's the more obvious reasoning, that men adjust to let women (or men if they are gay) know that look, there is a wang here, and yes, the buffet is open for business. I further postulate that if a man is, how do we say, genitally challenged, he would also want to conduct status checks to make sure his works haven't disappeared completely.
So men, if you are reading, please post a comment and let us know which of the following explanations suits your acts of adjustment (you may of course pick more than one, but if you do, please note which reason is the most frequent/important)
- You need to get it back into a comfortable "home position"
- You want to make sure it is still there
- You want everyone else to know it is still there
- It itches, ok???
- You have no idea what I'm talking about and you never do this. (note: selecting this option classifies you as a dirty liar)
Thanks in advance for your cooperation,
D
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Random Bits, Personal Accountability, and People with Nothing Better to Do
FOOTBALL FANS START HERE:
Heh heh oops - I really thought the Eagles would lose today. After all - they've suffered so many injuries - from choking. However, I really am glad to see Philly win. I would be REALLY glad to see Terrell Owens come back for the Super Bowl, for the Eagles to beat the Patriots, and for Rush Limbaugh's fat pasty stupid face to get rubbed into his own moronic commentary on black quarterbacks.
NON-FOOTBALL FANS START HERE:
What the hell's with this little whiny bitch? What kind of honor student signs up for a class knowing there's homework over the summer, and then tries to SUE about it? And what kind of moronic father backs him up on it? Not too hard to figure out where this kid's sense of accountability comes from.
Hey did you all know Spongebob is all about the Spongewang? I'm going to send these folks my shopping lists and some of my knitting to do as they obviously have nothing constructive to do with their time. If you guys have to dog on a gay cartoon, you would much better serve the world by turning your attention to that annoying neckerchiefed douchebag Fred on Scooby-Doo.
Speaking of knitting, I was in the waiting room at Toyota getting my car looked at. I brought my knitting along with me - I had about 1 1/2 feet done on a scarf for my moms. Unfortunately, the View was on - that talk show with 4 biddies of varying ages including the excruciatingly annoying Star Jones. The first time I looked up, they were cooing and gushing about Laura Bush's inaugural clothes. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Next thing I know, Ice Cube is tucked up on the couch in the midst of the 4 biddies talking about his latest sellout, Are We There Yet? Hey I'm ok with him doing family films, but does he have to do one that looks like it sucks Satan's buttcheese? At this point, they tell me my car is done, so in a massive hurry to escape VapidBiddypalooza, I shove my knitting in my bag. Arriving home, I realize I've dropped a ton of stitches and basically have to start over. Well, at least it looks much better the second time around.
Holy snow huh? But believe it or not - my snowdrift neighbors somehow got hold of some snow removal method and cleared their driveway! This morning they had driven across their neighbors' driveway and on top of their snow so were parked diagonally in their driveway. But by the time I got back home they had cleared it all up. And again, I'd like to thank God for snowblowers. I cleared yesterday and today - yesterday I basically spent blowing snow into the wind to have it blown back on me. I tried turning in every angle that wouldn't blow snow all over my next door neighbors' driveway, but the wind defeated me every direction I tried. Still, it was much easier this morning with the work I'd done yesterday. My snowblower isn't big enough to handle stomach-high drifts, so there was a lot of poke drifts with the shovel, clear the fallen snow with the blower. Tedious, but at least I can get out of the driveway, and at least we didn't get what New England got.
Yes my Christmas tree is still up. I think I'll take it down this weekend though. Valentine's Day trees just don't work for me. If I could find one though, I'd take Carl's suggestion and put up a Festivus pole.
I watched Citizen Kane for the first time this weekend. I can't believe how hot Orson Welles used to be. Rosebud, y'all.
I think I'll be getting this book, God's Politics:How the Right Got It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It. I saw the author on the Daily Show last week and it was quite refreshing to see a Christian stating publicly that it's doubtful Jesus wanted Bush to wage war on towelheads for bullshit reasons and piss on the environment.
Johnny Carson died today. This is so sad. I always thought Jay Leno was a poor, poor replacement for JC. We'll miss you, Johnny. Thanks for the laughs.
Cheers,
D
Heh heh oops - I really thought the Eagles would lose today. After all - they've suffered so many injuries - from choking. However, I really am glad to see Philly win. I would be REALLY glad to see Terrell Owens come back for the Super Bowl, for the Eagles to beat the Patriots, and for Rush Limbaugh's fat pasty stupid face to get rubbed into his own moronic commentary on black quarterbacks.
NON-FOOTBALL FANS START HERE:
What the hell's with this little whiny bitch? What kind of honor student signs up for a class knowing there's homework over the summer, and then tries to SUE about it? And what kind of moronic father backs him up on it? Not too hard to figure out where this kid's sense of accountability comes from.
Hey did you all know Spongebob is all about the Spongewang? I'm going to send these folks my shopping lists and some of my knitting to do as they obviously have nothing constructive to do with their time. If you guys have to dog on a gay cartoon, you would much better serve the world by turning your attention to that annoying neckerchiefed douchebag Fred on Scooby-Doo.
Speaking of knitting, I was in the waiting room at Toyota getting my car looked at. I brought my knitting along with me - I had about 1 1/2 feet done on a scarf for my moms. Unfortunately, the View was on - that talk show with 4 biddies of varying ages including the excruciatingly annoying Star Jones. The first time I looked up, they were cooing and gushing about Laura Bush's inaugural clothes. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Next thing I know, Ice Cube is tucked up on the couch in the midst of the 4 biddies talking about his latest sellout, Are We There Yet? Hey I'm ok with him doing family films, but does he have to do one that looks like it sucks Satan's buttcheese? At this point, they tell me my car is done, so in a massive hurry to escape VapidBiddypalooza, I shove my knitting in my bag. Arriving home, I realize I've dropped a ton of stitches and basically have to start over. Well, at least it looks much better the second time around.
Holy snow huh? But believe it or not - my snowdrift neighbors somehow got hold of some snow removal method and cleared their driveway! This morning they had driven across their neighbors' driveway and on top of their snow so were parked diagonally in their driveway. But by the time I got back home they had cleared it all up. And again, I'd like to thank God for snowblowers. I cleared yesterday and today - yesterday I basically spent blowing snow into the wind to have it blown back on me. I tried turning in every angle that wouldn't blow snow all over my next door neighbors' driveway, but the wind defeated me every direction I tried. Still, it was much easier this morning with the work I'd done yesterday. My snowblower isn't big enough to handle stomach-high drifts, so there was a lot of poke drifts with the shovel, clear the fallen snow with the blower. Tedious, but at least I can get out of the driveway, and at least we didn't get what New England got.
Yes my Christmas tree is still up. I think I'll take it down this weekend though. Valentine's Day trees just don't work for me. If I could find one though, I'd take Carl's suggestion and put up a Festivus pole.
I watched Citizen Kane for the first time this weekend. I can't believe how hot Orson Welles used to be. Rosebud, y'all.
I think I'll be getting this book, God's Politics:How the Right Got It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It. I saw the author on the Daily Show last week and it was quite refreshing to see a Christian stating publicly that it's doubtful Jesus wanted Bush to wage war on towelheads for bullshit reasons and piss on the environment.
Johnny Carson died today. This is so sad. I always thought Jay Leno was a poor, poor replacement for JC. We'll miss you, Johnny. Thanks for the laughs.
Cheers,
D
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Oh the Weather Outside is Horrible
And my job is so deplorable. Just kidding. Thank you MDL for continuing to pay me.
Non-football people, now's the time to go get a drink or something. I'll let you know when to tune back in. I just got done watching the Colts vs. the Patriots - I'm shaking my head here but I'm not surprised. Indianapolis made the decision to spend large coin on offense and $3 on defense and it shows. You cannot win championships without defense. I don't care how great Peyton Manning and the Colts offense are, you can't put minimum wage teenagers on defense against Tom Brady and expect to win. Part of me secretly dreams that Manning will be fed up and want to come to the Bears since we actually have a defense. He needs to bring his offensive line with him though because ours is shit. Then Ron Turner will be irrelevant since Manning calls his own plays.
I was glad to see the Eagles beat the Vikings, because although I like Daunte Culpepper, I HATE Randy Moss. I wanted the Packers to beat them last week because Randy Moss is such a bitch. What makes it worse is that he's a talented player, he would be REVERED if he wasn't such a festering asshole. Atlanta spanked the Rams and sent them home sobbing to their mommies, to which I said "Duh." I call an Atlanta v. New England Super Bowl, and I think Atlanta will win.
Ok non-football fans, time to tune in again! And now for a word from my sponsor (well not really) but I am taking the chance to pimp Adagio Teas. Their teas kick ASS. Email me if you want a $5 gift certificate!
If you were wondering about my neighbors' snow drift - yep it's still there. Smaller, but still there.
Does anyone else think Bobby Flay is an arrogant whiny bitch? Me too.
I am a knitting fool now! So far I can only knit scarves - well, um, just one scarf. It's a six foot long lumpy blue portrait of the cellulite on the back of my thighs, but everyone who's seen it says it's really nice (even my mom!) but I think they're all being polite. (Even though the last time I saw Mom be polite was right around the Nixon administration). Anyway, I'm giving it to John, because LK says he needs a long scarf, and I dare say he'll find it rather amusing to have a blue representation of my thighs wrapped around his neck. Now I'm working on a scarf for Mom with multicolored yarn (burgundy/green) and after that - you guessed it, more scarves. John's best friend's wife Niki told me it's easy to knit hats, but I ran away screaming in fear. I like scarves. They is nice and flat. (In that respect, they are my anti-breasts.)
Non-football people, now's the time to go get a drink or something. I'll let you know when to tune back in. I just got done watching the Colts vs. the Patriots - I'm shaking my head here but I'm not surprised. Indianapolis made the decision to spend large coin on offense and $3 on defense and it shows. You cannot win championships without defense. I don't care how great Peyton Manning and the Colts offense are, you can't put minimum wage teenagers on defense against Tom Brady and expect to win. Part of me secretly dreams that Manning will be fed up and want to come to the Bears since we actually have a defense. He needs to bring his offensive line with him though because ours is shit. Then Ron Turner will be irrelevant since Manning calls his own plays.
I was glad to see the Eagles beat the Vikings, because although I like Daunte Culpepper, I HATE Randy Moss. I wanted the Packers to beat them last week because Randy Moss is such a bitch. What makes it worse is that he's a talented player, he would be REVERED if he wasn't such a festering asshole. Atlanta spanked the Rams and sent them home sobbing to their mommies, to which I said "Duh." I call an Atlanta v. New England Super Bowl, and I think Atlanta will win.
Ok non-football fans, time to tune in again! And now for a word from my sponsor (well not really) but I am taking the chance to pimp Adagio Teas. Their teas kick ASS. Email me if you want a $5 gift certificate!
If you were wondering about my neighbors' snow drift - yep it's still there. Smaller, but still there.
Does anyone else think Bobby Flay is an arrogant whiny bitch? Me too.
I am a knitting fool now! So far I can only knit scarves - well, um, just one scarf. It's a six foot long lumpy blue portrait of the cellulite on the back of my thighs, but everyone who's seen it says it's really nice (even my mom!) but I think they're all being polite. (Even though the last time I saw Mom be polite was right around the Nixon administration). Anyway, I'm giving it to John, because LK says he needs a long scarf, and I dare say he'll find it rather amusing to have a blue representation of my thighs wrapped around his neck. Now I'm working on a scarf for Mom with multicolored yarn (burgundy/green) and after that - you guessed it, more scarves. John's best friend's wife Niki told me it's easy to knit hats, but I ran away screaming in fear. I like scarves. They is nice and flat. (In that respect, they are my anti-breasts.)
Had a pretty good weekend so far. Yesterday I went with bestbud Meeyun to see our favorite Indian people, Shilpa, Bug, his wife Rupal, and all their kiddies. Bug and Rupal have a new baby boy, Ronin, who looks just like his dad so we've christened him Mini-Bug.
(I sense a Note of Explanation is needed. Bug's real name is Suketu. pronounced soo-keh-too. Back in the day at Abbott, this guy we worked with could not pronounce it any other way than "cicada". As though Bug were one of a plague of Hindu locusts descended upon the U.S. to write our software and man our gas stations/Kwik-E-Marts. But I digress. We just started calling him "Bug" for short. It was a moment of sadness and shame in my life when his wife asked him a question and involuntarily called him "Bug")
Anyway back to Adventures with the Brownies. We were celebrating Bug's and Meeyun's birthdays. and ate lots of yummy Indian flavory food, and had lots to catch up on since we hadn't all gotten together in quite a while. Priyanna (Shilpa's daughter) and Sareena (Bug and Rupal's daughter) are both about 2.5 yrs old and totally sweet, albeit a bit shy. But hey, better shy than whiny brats like so many kids I see - Shilpa and Bug and Rupal are all doing great parenting jobs.
Today I had lunch with Mom and Dad, and hung out watching football and knitting with Dad. I really think Mom identifies more with me now that I've picked up knitting, because she used to knit a LOT. I bond with Dad over sports, with Mom over shopping and crafts.
Tomorrow I have MLK Day off (I'm not sure Dr. King's dream included people having a day off, but I suppose he doesn't mind either). I work with a lot of Europeans so am still going to sit in on a conf call in the morning with them, and then heading into the city to see LK and John, give John his lumpy scarf, go to Lush, and have pillow fights with LK. Or something.
Mooches smooches,
Donna
Edited to add: Don Cheadle just got robbed at the Golden Globes, losing to that annoying ass-clown Leonardo DiCaprio. Also Hotel Rwanda lost to the Aviator, so I smell an Oscar robbing coming up for Jamie Foxx, Ray, and Hotel Rwanda. (Yes I know Ray and Hotel Rwanda can't both win, but I'd rather one of them win than the Aviator. However, I sense Oscar voters will be overcome by the need to suck Scorsese's wang.)
Friday, January 14, 2005
Prayers, Hugs, Positive Thoughts Needed
I have a friend, Anne. About a year and a half ago, her mother passed away after a long bout with cancer, during which it seemed like she might have beaten it, but it came back and she succumbed in the end. I met her father at the wake and he looked so lost and sad. Well, last week he fell off a ladder. I didn't get all the details, but he was bleeding from his ear, so I think they found bleeding inside his skull. He's in Intensive Care now, and on top of that he's got pneumonia.
Whatever you have, prayers, good thoughts, anything, please send them over to Annie and her dad, they really need them now.
Thanks.
Donna
Whatever you have, prayers, good thoughts, anything, please send them over to Annie and her dad, they really need them now.
Thanks.
Donna
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Random Observations and Occurrences
First off, many thanks to Carl the Fantabulous for his engaging wit de razeur (French term that I just now completely made up) response to my last blog entry.
p.s. Carl - depending on the rooster in question, the Cock is EVERYTHING to giggle about.
Ok. Let's get started.
Now, far be it from me to be a nosybiddy neighbor - heck I don't even know any of their names. But in the recent spouts of snow that got spooged onto the Chicago area, I notice that the people across the street from me seem to be, well, lazy. And that's saying a LOT from a chick who won't take down her Christmas tree.
Some background - I live on a street of duplexes, which means that I am connected to one other house, we share a double-width driveway, and when it comes to snow, I clean my half, they clean their half. The people across the street from me - one half is clean, and the other half has that massive snow drift left at the curb by the street plow. FROM LAST WEEK. I have seen their truck in the driveway since last week (somehow squished between the garage and the massive snow drift) so it's not like they blew town.
Today, I was on my way out - saw the guy with his truck parked in his neighbor's half of the driveway, shoveling snow since we got some more last night. I come back home - the drift is STILL there but now he's somehow again parked his truck between the garage and the drift. Hey if it works for him it's fine with me. But something tells me not to count on them in any neighborhood cooperative efforts (not like we have any, but still)
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In the answer to my daily prayers since Week 5 of the NFL season, the Bears have fired their offensive coordinator, Terry Shea. I hear people saying how the Bears quarterbacks suck, which is true, but they were on their sixth sucky offensive lineup at the end of the season. If the wind is blowing above 2 mph, the offensive linemen will fall down. Peyton Manning, good as he is, would have gotten KILLED DEAD with this offensive line, because it's basically like asking paper dolls to protect you.
Now don't get me wrong, the quarterbacks have sucked. When Craig Krenzel is six inches from FALLING out of bounds, but takes a moment to ponder, "What should I do before falling out of bounds? OH. I know. I'll throw the ball to the other team first." Sucky quarterback.
I have seen 5 plays from the Bears offense all season. I will be extremely generous and include
1) the successful pass and
2) the successful rush (each of which I have seen all of 4 times this season)
3) Ball snapped, offensive line falls down, quarterback is mowed down flat. (feel free to insert fumble here if in the mood)
4) Ball snapped, quarterback runs far enough away from the offensive line to give himself time to throw an interception
5) Ball snapped, offensive line thinks enough happy thoughts to stay upright long enough for quarterback to throw the ball, only to find David Terrell has run the play in the wrong direction. Being the sucky quarterback that he is, he cannot adjust and throws the ball at empty field.
I'm going to wait to pass judgment on Ron Turner who's taking over, but if his last three seasons coaching Illinois is any indication, I'm not too hopeful. Maybe there's nowhere to go but up. Or maybe we can lose all our games next season.
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I was flipping channels the other night and came upon the People's Choice Awards. I actually groaned when Fahrenheit 9/11 won for Best Picture of the Year. Sure, I liked the movie and thought it had an important message - which is completely marginalized by Michael Moore's grandstanding and competition against 2 CARTOONS and Doc Ock. As my good friend LK says, blurring (or in this case detonating) the line between documentary and entertainment serves no justice to the message of this film and is indeed insulting to our troops in Iraq. Sit down before you hurt yourself and all the rest of us, Mr. Moore.
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Why is Laura Bush's choice of gown for the Inaugural Ball a top headline alongside, well, anything serious? And why are the ass-clowns in the Bush administration making the city of Washington D.C. divert $12 million in homeland security funds to pay for the costs of the inauguration? Oh I know why. Because 59 million of us re-elected a complete douchebag.
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Excuse me, I meant 59 million of us ELECTED a complete douchebag, since the first election didn't count - literally.
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I still haven't bought Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and I'm wondering why. Maybe I will make it my Martin Luther King day present to myself.
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Don't cats ever get tired of licking themselves?
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As I typed that, my older cat Guinness looked up at me with complete scorn writ large upon his face, and then went back to licking. Meowlingual translation - "Don't be gettin up in my shit, beeyotch."
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And, that's all I got for today. Apologies to all my fans (and that would be ALL my fans) who don't watch football and completely tuned out in the middle)
Mooches smooches,
D
p.s. Carl - depending on the rooster in question, the Cock is EVERYTHING to giggle about.
Ok. Let's get started.
Now, far be it from me to be a nosybiddy neighbor - heck I don't even know any of their names. But in the recent spouts of snow that got spooged onto the Chicago area, I notice that the people across the street from me seem to be, well, lazy. And that's saying a LOT from a chick who won't take down her Christmas tree.
Some background - I live on a street of duplexes, which means that I am connected to one other house, we share a double-width driveway, and when it comes to snow, I clean my half, they clean their half. The people across the street from me - one half is clean, and the other half has that massive snow drift left at the curb by the street plow. FROM LAST WEEK. I have seen their truck in the driveway since last week (somehow squished between the garage and the massive snow drift) so it's not like they blew town.
Today, I was on my way out - saw the guy with his truck parked in his neighbor's half of the driveway, shoveling snow since we got some more last night. I come back home - the drift is STILL there but now he's somehow again parked his truck between the garage and the drift. Hey if it works for him it's fine with me. But something tells me not to count on them in any neighborhood cooperative efforts (not like we have any, but still)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the answer to my daily prayers since Week 5 of the NFL season, the Bears have fired their offensive coordinator, Terry Shea. I hear people saying how the Bears quarterbacks suck, which is true, but they were on their sixth sucky offensive lineup at the end of the season. If the wind is blowing above 2 mph, the offensive linemen will fall down. Peyton Manning, good as he is, would have gotten KILLED DEAD with this offensive line, because it's basically like asking paper dolls to protect you.
Now don't get me wrong, the quarterbacks have sucked. When Craig Krenzel is six inches from FALLING out of bounds, but takes a moment to ponder, "What should I do before falling out of bounds? OH. I know. I'll throw the ball to the other team first." Sucky quarterback.
I have seen 5 plays from the Bears offense all season. I will be extremely generous and include
1) the successful pass and
2) the successful rush (each of which I have seen all of 4 times this season)
3) Ball snapped, offensive line falls down, quarterback is mowed down flat. (feel free to insert fumble here if in the mood)
4) Ball snapped, quarterback runs far enough away from the offensive line to give himself time to throw an interception
5) Ball snapped, offensive line thinks enough happy thoughts to stay upright long enough for quarterback to throw the ball, only to find David Terrell has run the play in the wrong direction. Being the sucky quarterback that he is, he cannot adjust and throws the ball at empty field.
I'm going to wait to pass judgment on Ron Turner who's taking over, but if his last three seasons coaching Illinois is any indication, I'm not too hopeful. Maybe there's nowhere to go but up. Or maybe we can lose all our games next season.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was flipping channels the other night and came upon the People's Choice Awards. I actually groaned when Fahrenheit 9/11 won for Best Picture of the Year. Sure, I liked the movie and thought it had an important message - which is completely marginalized by Michael Moore's grandstanding and competition against 2 CARTOONS and Doc Ock. As my good friend LK says, blurring (or in this case detonating) the line between documentary and entertainment serves no justice to the message of this film and is indeed insulting to our troops in Iraq. Sit down before you hurt yourself and all the rest of us, Mr. Moore.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is Laura Bush's choice of gown for the Inaugural Ball a top headline alongside, well, anything serious? And why are the ass-clowns in the Bush administration making the city of Washington D.C. divert $12 million in homeland security funds to pay for the costs of the inauguration? Oh I know why. Because 59 million of us re-elected a complete douchebag.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Excuse me, I meant 59 million of us ELECTED a complete douchebag, since the first election didn't count - literally.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still haven't bought Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and I'm wondering why. Maybe I will make it my Martin Luther King day present to myself.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't cats ever get tired of licking themselves?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As I typed that, my older cat Guinness looked up at me with complete scorn writ large upon his face, and then went back to licking. Meowlingual translation - "Don't be gettin up in my shit, beeyotch."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And, that's all I got for today. Apologies to all my fans (and that would be ALL my fans) who don't watch football and completely tuned out in the middle)
Mooches smooches,
D
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Post-Holiday Random Thoughts
Happy New Year, comrades! Let's get random, shall we?
Evidence of the influence of pop culture in my life: when watching a movie that contained the phrase "nooks and crannies", the first thing I thought of was Thomas' English Muffins.
My Christmas tree is still up. I worked hard this year, scratching the crap out of my arms searching for the broken bulb that made a foot-tall chunk near the top of the tree go on strike. That fucker's staying up. I might just take off all but the red and white ornaments and call it a Valentine's tree.
Thank God for electric start snowblowers.
The tsunami and its aftermath are so horrifying. It's heartening to see people across the world band together and send help to these poor people. Then I see Hotel Rwanda and am reminded that people do terrible things to other people for no real reason, and other people won't step in to do anything unless there's something in it for them. There's no political repercussions from helping the victims of a natural disaster. (thank God, otherwise the tsunami victims would probably be shit out of luck as well)
I see VH1, in an effort to squeeze the last weary drop from the ratings boon started by "I Love the 80's", are putting out "I Love the 90's - Part Deux." Ok seriously, isn't it a little soon to be reminiscing about the 90's - again? (Ok ok ok, the footage of Bush the Elder puking on the Prime Minister of Japan always gets me giggling, but come on. This is the decade of "Who Let the Dogs Out", Lorena Bobbitt taking the "money" and running, the Macarena, and Al Gore doing the Macarena - badly.) What's next - "I Heart the 00's - We're Just Makin' Shit Up Now and Look Who's Still Watching"?
February 9, 2005 marks the Chinese New Year and the Year of the Rooster. Which yes, can also be thought of as the Year of the Cock. I'll let you giggle over that one a bit.
Status Check on Shitkicking-Grinning, Moronic, Asswipe Douchebag in the White House - yep! Still there! Which reminds me, I need to go stock up on hard liquor.
Someday I want to interview a technician who gives Brazilian bikini waxes and ask what their very worst client experience was. I'm envisioning something along the lines of flatulence triggered by flinching when the naughtybits hair is forcibly ripped out.
I just confirmed through the magic of Tivo that Resident Evil: Apocalypse contains a scene of Milla Jovovich leaping off a building wearing what can best be described as a white assless-chaps vinyl leotard. Surprisingly, this still is not enough to make me want to see this movie.
Is there anyone keeping track of how many dirty old men have bought "Girls Gone Wild" - and seen their own daughters on it?
Today I was in the kitchen while my baby kitty Molly was poking around my feet. I moved my foot suddenly and she jumped so high that in her arc of descent her butt was pointed straight at the ceiling. I probably took a whole kitty-year or two off her life but man, sometimes I just can't help laughing at the misfortune of others.
Ok that's it for now. Stay tuned for more. Someday. Or not. Who knows?
D
Evidence of the influence of pop culture in my life: when watching a movie that contained the phrase "nooks and crannies", the first thing I thought of was Thomas' English Muffins.
My Christmas tree is still up. I worked hard this year, scratching the crap out of my arms searching for the broken bulb that made a foot-tall chunk near the top of the tree go on strike. That fucker's staying up. I might just take off all but the red and white ornaments and call it a Valentine's tree.
Thank God for electric start snowblowers.
The tsunami and its aftermath are so horrifying. It's heartening to see people across the world band together and send help to these poor people. Then I see Hotel Rwanda and am reminded that people do terrible things to other people for no real reason, and other people won't step in to do anything unless there's something in it for them. There's no political repercussions from helping the victims of a natural disaster. (thank God, otherwise the tsunami victims would probably be shit out of luck as well)
I see VH1, in an effort to squeeze the last weary drop from the ratings boon started by "I Love the 80's", are putting out "I Love the 90's - Part Deux." Ok seriously, isn't it a little soon to be reminiscing about the 90's - again? (Ok ok ok, the footage of Bush the Elder puking on the Prime Minister of Japan always gets me giggling, but come on. This is the decade of "Who Let the Dogs Out", Lorena Bobbitt taking the "money" and running, the Macarena, and Al Gore doing the Macarena - badly.) What's next - "I Heart the 00's - We're Just Makin' Shit Up Now and Look Who's Still Watching"?
February 9, 2005 marks the Chinese New Year and the Year of the Rooster. Which yes, can also be thought of as the Year of the Cock. I'll let you giggle over that one a bit.
Status Check on Shitkicking-Grinning, Moronic, Asswipe Douchebag in the White House - yep! Still there! Which reminds me, I need to go stock up on hard liquor.
Someday I want to interview a technician who gives Brazilian bikini waxes and ask what their very worst client experience was. I'm envisioning something along the lines of flatulence triggered by flinching when the naughtybits hair is forcibly ripped out.
I just confirmed through the magic of Tivo that Resident Evil: Apocalypse contains a scene of Milla Jovovich leaping off a building wearing what can best be described as a white assless-chaps vinyl leotard. Surprisingly, this still is not enough to make me want to see this movie.
Is there anyone keeping track of how many dirty old men have bought "Girls Gone Wild" - and seen their own daughters on it?
Today I was in the kitchen while my baby kitty Molly was poking around my feet. I moved my foot suddenly and she jumped so high that in her arc of descent her butt was pointed straight at the ceiling. I probably took a whole kitty-year or two off her life but man, sometimes I just can't help laughing at the misfortune of others.
Ok that's it for now. Stay tuned for more. Someday. Or not. Who knows?
D
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