Through the Rabbit Hole or Something

So apparently I walked into the craft store after lunch and fell through the rabbit hole.

I'm standing there perusing the selection of tote bags and around the corner I hear two women like, GETTING INTO IT over amber and crystals and spirituality, and which hand receives spirituality or something. We are talking palpable tension over the disagreement here, like the kind of tension that would cause two drunk people to start throwing punches but in two sober spiritualitycrafty women means they are just thinking supersnide thoughts about each other with the fire of a thousand suns?

And then I'm trying to pay and leave but the cashier and the customer in front of me are busy rehashing a recent auto accident that the customer was in, and then, what seemed to be every auto accident either of them or their known acquaintances had ever experienced including permutations of insurance and hit-and-runs and court dates and HANGING THE PERSON WHO HIT HER. Figuratively, of course. I think.

I just wanted a plain tote bag to sew for my mommy :-(