Harry Potter and the Order of the Kleenex, or Of Course They Blamed it on the Asian

So John and I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the fifth movie adaptation of the books that turned J.K. Rowling into an eleventy-bozillionaire. We got there early enough to have to wait in line for a few minutes while the previous show finished up, and spent the time amusing ourselves and the girl behind us with various unlikely speculation as to how the series will end. (John still thinks Ron Weasley will come out of the closet - I doubt that but we both agree on the fact that Ginny Weasley's been around the block a time or twelve, that filthy minx.)

So, the movie. My official one-word review - Meh.

If you haven't read the books before and plan to, stop reading here.

It was ok, not bad, not great. The book was so ridiculously long that it was necessary to leave big hunks out of the movie. John accurately predicted that they would gloss over Harry's seriously whiny teen angstiness - which actually, although I was relieved because whining sucks, I think it does help make Harry a little more human and understandable.

Surprise, surprise, the Narco Polo responsible for the downfall of Dumbledore's Army turns out to be the lone Asian (for whom Harry was also experiencing Asian jungle fever) and not the Caucasian girl who gets blamed in the book. I didn't see any black characters even getting enough screen time to be identified by name, so the next best thing when you need a patsy is the Asian I suppose.

Luna and Neville were excellent. Ron and Hermione seem to be getting reduced to the respective roles of bumbling sidekick and earnest not-so-nerdy-anymore-because-in-movies-girls-must-be-pretty sidekick.

The Dumbledore/Voldemort showdown was way too Star Wars for my taste, right down to the color of the light shooting from their light sabers - I mean, wands. It's not bad enough that Stephen King had to eviscerate his own Dark Tower series by ripping off Harry Potter, but now Harry Potter is ripping off Star Wars? (Although that would make Harry the whinybitch who doesn't give into the Dark Side)

I saw several people leaving the theatre with tears in their eyes - presumably because of Sirius dying (told you not to keep reading if you haven't read the books) but for some reason that didn't affect me at all - probably because I have never really liked the Sirius Black character. It always seemed to me in both the books and the movies that he encouraged Harry to be "cool" and take risks instead of being smart. But at the same time, that makes his character more interesting than a do-gooder godfather who would advise Harry to stick to the straight and narrow and maybe not take enough risks in the end.

The actress who played Dolores Umbridge was really good, however I don't feel like the character itself was as evil and provoking as she was in the book, which was a shame. The actress really did a good job with what she was given though.

Seriously, what's with Dumbledore and the beret he wears? I miss Richard Harris if only for his pointy wizard's hat.

In other news, I got a jingly hip scarf which I love because it's all purply-blue (my favorite color) with jingly silver coins. My cats are highly suspicious of it, however.