I've decided I need to get in on the do-crap-and-get-paid-for-it action. I want Food Network to air my new show, Ghetto Fabulous Kwizeen. An entire episode will be devoted to spray cheese. I will probably need an entire week to cover the glory of Spam. And the myriad ways to tart up ramen noodles and Hostess pastries will probably carry me into early retirement. Believe me, you'll thank me when the Velveeta Dinty Moore Ramen Bake episode airs.
Speaking of trash, I received a bag of circus peanuts from John and Laura this weekend. Now, in my humble opinion, circus peanuts join forces with Peeps and candy corn to form the Unholy Candy Trinity. Every ten years or so I get the urge to taste one or the other of these candies, just to remind myself why I hate these candies. The last time I ate circus peanuts was in college, and I distinctly remember chewing it with my mouth open, as though I could possibly release the circus peanut evil back into the wild that way. It does not work. And it did not work this time. Circus peanuts = horrid gritty fake banana awful. As Laura cited in her blog earlier, Bad-Candy.com waxes highly poetic on the subject of circus peanuts and how gritty/horrible they are.
I have yet to meet a person who loves circus peanuts. But yesterday, I found out I own a cat who loves circus peanuts. Yes, my feline badonkadonkdonk Molly was presented with a circus peanut and proceeded to lick and chew the crap out of it. And this morning when I came downstairs, what did I find on the floor but the open bag of circus peanuts and a partially masticated peanut next to it. I think with Halloween so close I'm going to pick up some candy corn and Peeps and see how she takes to those. I have a feeling she'll be able to guest-host Ghetto Fabulous Kwizeen for me.
In more boring news, I started working from home today. It went mostly ok, I had to lie down flat on my back for a few minutes during the day to relieve the pressure on my incision, sitting upright all day doesn't do it any favors. I think in a couple more days I'm going to try driving (doctor's orders = no driving for 2 wks).
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4 comments:
You could have one show completely dedicated to Hamburger Helper too... wow, the list really is endless.
"I dunno why they call it Hamburger Helper, it does just fiiiine on it's own"
Seriously? You should totally pitch it. Call it something like "Cooking the Way Real People Do It," although I really like your working title. You'd make millions.
What about all the different things you can do with mac and cheese?? Can you do an episode on that? How about frozen pizza and/or pizza bread? Although those may be your more inaccessible to your audience "gourmet" programs.
OK... well, while I admit that the Fairy Princess tablescape was pretty frightening, overall the Sandra Lee show wasn't that bad. It was stupid, and she's annoying (She's Missy - that girl from my program - in 20 years) but it's nowhere near as painful as Battlefield Earth... you better get your ass to blockbuster... :P
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